m o o n c r a b l o g

If

Nov
08
Facebook Stalking: If you are reading this to get some insight into me but not responding, I accept you. To the 1-3 people who will respond, thanks in advance.

Bagel spritz

Nov
08
Q: How come when I scrape off the burned parts of toast/bagel products, pieces of crispy inedible gluten fly literally (not figuratively) everywhere… all over my sink and the backsplash (I like that word), onto the floor, in my hair, in my eye, into the carpet in the next room.. (I know right??)
 
I take the butter knife, I angle the bagel down INTO the sink, but still, burnt sprinkles, everywhere.
 
Thanks again!

a full moon crab happy new year and things like that!

Jan
07

may twenty seventeen be a way better year for us all ! ah, men.

Homeslice

Nov
16

I love pizza and I love fall, but I don’t love dropping my pizza on the floor, love. Thanks again!

Refrigerator bulb, love

Nov
15

Hi love. Did you know that when you close the fridge door, the light de-luminates? Ruminate. You see, when you open the door, it releases a switch that illuminates the fridge bulb, assuming it’s not burned out, love. So, in effect, your food sits in (cold) darkness most of the time. Crazy, right? It took me a bit to figure this out but once I did, I realized all the implications. Ones and zeros, love. Well, loves, that’s about it for now. Thanks again, love. Sweet dreams!

Ours is not to yada, but to instead yada

Nov
03

Ok? Thanks again.

They won the ball match and I couldn’t be happier (except for the losing team, which makes me sorta sad)

Nov
03

But that is the way it goes, especially in pro sports, where a lot is riding on the game, especially money. But man, what a ride it was! The fans, the ads, the food, the cars, the women, the rush of it all. It reminds me of going to an amusement park and so long as your favorite ride is open and you get to ride it as many times as you want, all is good. But if it is closed or the lines are too long, it just isn’t worth it. Here, have an over-fried sugary funnel cake and some syrupy coke product to wash it down with. Let’s go home now, I’m tired. Can you carry me to the car and wake me in the morning when it’s all over? Thanks again. Go team.

You ever ski laco taco?

Nov
03

I ski laco taco, every year man and is it ever ridiculous: creamy highs, delicious lows, and those mounds of medium, right there in the center. Ef an a bra. Thanks again.

Come on out and see things !

Nov
02

It’ll be great?

Brown bag baby

Nov
02

Today’s topic is branding and I’ll hopefully keep it brief. But don’t let my brevity fool you, we are a marketing company and our products don’t sell themselves. Sure, no one wants to see ads, especially then they are just trying to get to a shakira playlist. But that was then and this is how. And that is why I invited you to this brown bag lunch: to provide you with a slim, mostly tasteless lunch along with some side items including generic mayonnaise and a mint candy or two (if your coworker does not want his or hers). Also to let you all know that we are releasing new products soon and you all are fired. Now finish up your sandwich (quickly please) and then leave. Actually, please just leave, quickly. There is a bus outside that will take you to your car. Check our job boards for future opportunities. HR has something for you to fill out (the only reason we have HR I think?). Anyways. Thanks again.