m o o n c r a b l o g

This holiday’s season

Nov
25

Dear loved ones, friends and family of loved ones, friends of those friends, loved ones of those friends, and loved ones of the friends and family of those other friends who are also friends or family of loved ones…

This holiday season, celebrate this holiday season by celebrating this holiday season with a friend, family, or loved one, or loved one of a friend family or loved one, or a friend who is family to a loved one, or a loved family who has friends, or some combo therein, by celebrating this holiday season!

thanks again and happy holiday.

Homeslice

Nov
16

I love pizza and I love fall, but I don’t love dropping my pizza on the floor, love. Thanks again!

Ours is not to yada, but to instead yada

Nov
03

Ok? Thanks again.

They won the ball match and I couldn’t be happier (except for the losing team, which makes me sorta sad)

Nov
03

But that is the way it goes, especially in pro sports, where a lot is riding on the game, especially money. But man, what a ride it was! The fans, the ads, the food, the cars, the women, the rush of it all. It reminds me of going to an amusement park and so long as your favorite ride is open and you get to ride it as many times as you want, all is good. But if it is closed or the lines are too long, it just isn’t worth it. Here, have an over-fried sugary funnel cake and some syrupy coke product to wash it down with. Let’s go home now, I’m tired. Can you carry me to the car and wake me in the morning when it’s all over? Thanks again. Go team.

You ever ski laco taco?

Nov
03

I ski laco taco, every year man and is it ever ridiculous: creamy highs, delicious lows, and those mounds of medium, right there in the center. Ef an a bra. Thanks again.

Oh crap, it’s November, I should have said something

Nov
02

Well I am saying it now. Everyone, get back to work. Thanks again.

Hey folks, it’s been a long day, let’s call it

Nov
02

You earned it – a soothing tea or massage or even a letter from an old friend. Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me, unless you post it in comments, in which case, it is public. Don’t you get it? The entire world [that has access to the internet with aol or NAME IT] can see it??

So don’t do it and then come crying to me that everyone knows your secret. It’s out and the past is the past and that is what the past taught me–that the past is just that–the past.

And don’t mis and-or overuse dashes–em or otherwise–it’s poor form, like too much sausage at a party, or lite beer at a wedding. Just reading this makes me feel sick. I’m going to go lay down.

The rest of you, get back to work–we’re not paying you to sit here and listen to me. Besides all that, you should know better.

Someone go get me some floss, I think I have black pepper stuck in my teeth. It feels like there is something in a cuspid and it tastes burny like black pepper or sassgrass.

Thanks again.

Halloween parties are happening all the time now

Oct
31

I was a dressed up as a halloween costume for halloween once. I wore it the whole night and got lots of compliments! People were like “oh my gosh you guys, that is so cool,” and things like that. Also, they had a really cool setup there (at this party I went to). There was a live dj who played music for us and a bar with like beer and wine and stuff, and we danced all night, I’m telling you, it was totally off the hook for halloween! It reminds me of other parties that we went to, except this was for halloween and everyone dressed up, and at other parties you don’t do that as much. Do you know what I mean. Like seriously tho, halloween parties happen on weekends a lot around halloween now. Growing up I don’t remember it but also I was younger and¬†we probably wouldn’t’ve gone to adult parties. Maybe my parents and their friends did, I don’t know. I can check with them if you want.

It’s almost done with october

Oct
29

And it is time, once again, to get your halloween costumes dusted off, and to start enjoying that pumpkin spiced whatever it’s called. Get ready for the other holidays too this year – they only happen once a year, and now’s the time for all of that. Thanks again!

You so lazy (the first time I met you)

Oct
29

You were wearing that really cute thing and it brought out your cute rosey cheeks. I called you nosey rosey (because you also have a really cute nose!) and we laughed. Later, we went to the cheesecake factory and ate so much food that both of us had to go home and lay down and make vows never to go there again. We were the best of friends that night. We helped each other throw up that bad, GMO, salty, preservative-rich food. And then we talked politics and watched reruns of that show with old what’s his face. But don’t get me started on politics. Thanks again for a great time and don’t forget to get out and vote!