My perfect first date is with you–yes, you reading this. How cool is that? You are my perfect first date. First a little about me, combined with more about this perfect first date.
Quick Summary about Me
I am fun-loving, honest, kind, truthful, fun, easygoing, outgoing, energetic, and like to spice and jazz things up. I love to live life to its fullest–I may even try sky diving one day! I like to take short walks on the beach with my favorite stuffed animal. His name is Fikus. But he is so well-made you would swear he is a real dog and you will want to pet him! He is a miniature German Shepard with a bright red chiffon jump suit.
Our Perfect First Date
Anyway, about the date. On our perfect first date, you take me and Fikus to the beach. Towards the end of our walk, you and I embrace for a moment and then we go to red lobster, chillis, and then applebees for appetizers, main course, and desert (respectively). You hold the door for me, everywhere we go.
More about Our Perfect First Date
At each restaurant, you take charge–but not too aggressive or anything, just the right dash of something (je ne sais pas?)…gosh, you have such panache. You know just what to order for me–I don’t even have to look at the menu! At the last stop I get sick from eating too much and I throw up all over the table.
Towards the End of the Night
Anyways, after the whole vomit thing, you are so gracious about it all, act like it is no big whoop: you help the waiter with the soggy dish towels and club soda, and when you pay for the meal, you lean over and tell me that you left way more than 20% for the tip. I get goose bumps.
More about Towards the End of the Night
We leave the restaurant and you take me home in your nice smelling car. We either listen to pleasant music and talk, or just listen to the music and do not talk, or we drive in silence and occasionally talk. Whatever it is, it feels calm but exciting, like anticipating popping a juicy pimple. You stop outside my house, put the car in park and turn off the ignition.
Closing of a Great Evening with You
In this moment in the car, you also switch off the car’s lights and turn down the music (if we were previously listening to music). It suddenly gets more dramatic and exciting. You look deeply into my eyes and tell me that, even though we just met, I am the best thing to happen to you. It means a lot to me. I really have to fart, though (and throw up so more), so I smile and say something about getting up early. You say that you do too, and that it is no problem. Wow, you are so gracious again.
Getting out of the Car and Walking Me to My Door
We get out, you start to walk me to my front door. You place your hand somewhere on my body and either you don’t notice my crop dusting, or are too polite to comment. Gosh, your hand feels so good back there, wherever it is. It might be the release I feel from the pent-up gas, or that your hand just feels so dang good. Whatever it is, something is just right. Anyways, we finally get to my door and you either do or do not kiss me. Whatever it is, it is just right.
End of the Date Activities
I go inside, get into my comfy PJs, brush my teeth and stuff, think about you and me and our perfect first date and then go to bed.
Best date ever–thanks again!
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